Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Honey, I need your help....

Hello Bloggy Friends,
Thank Goodness I have all of you in my life. I have a huge confession to make, and this was the first place I could think to share. I have a problem, a huge problem...I have severe depression, and when I get into "funks" I spend WAY too much money. I am recently married, and just learning to live in WE-ville, the first step was learning about money. I have no respect for it, never have... and I am pretty sure it will be a long time before I ever will.
Since we lost the baby, I have spent over $500 on books, knitting supplies, scrapping supplies... and lots of other crap... Since we lost the baby I have spent almost every dime I have made, not to mention a little extra of his income... which becomes a problem since we are behind on utillities since I "forgot" to pay them in November and December.
Last night I finally admitted to my husband what I have been doing, and let him know that I needed help. I make pretty good money, but you would never know it since by the time I get paid again, I have already spent it all on books, yarn, scrappy supplies, and in general crap! His income was being stretched to cover all of our house expenses, and then yesterday I realized that WE need to work together, if this (US) is going to work.
We had a long talk last night.. he was loving, and understanding, and I feel very reasonable. I will still be taking my knitting class, but when I buy the supplies he will go with, to make sure their are not too many impulse extras. We discussed the reasons I spend, and the ways to help limit it
and my new spending rules are as follows.
I get $100/week to save/spend/or build oragami with (no questions asked).
The balance of my paycheck is to go to family bills, and to make sure this happens we are having it Direct Depositied into an account I can not get into. After Six months we will re-evaluate.
This is a big step for me, not to mention how hard it is going to be... I am going to need all teh support i can get. Please pray for us, as I learn to control this dangerous addiction, and repair my brandnew marriage.


Rachel said...

Oh all the best to you; I have been there when we first got together; I am not that great with money til this day but I haven't shopped in months. I just blog now LOL

Best to you and your hubby in 2009

The Pink Chick said...

I am in the process of learning to manage my money too! I have a major addiction to clothes and a wee bit of a credit card habit. Good luck! I know you can do it! Keep us up-dated on how things are going!

peachykath said...

Your marriage isn't ruined. Max is definitely an understanding guy, and I'm sure that not only will he support you but all your friends as well. I'm watching my money as well, so when you need supplies if Max isn't available I'll go with you. That way we can both not spend alot.

Shawna said...

I can relate more than you know! After I stopped working outside of the house I continued to spend like I did before and when my husband and I would get into arguments the first thing I used to do was spend! I finally told my husband I had a problem and needed his help. Admitting to your husband(the closest person to you) that you needed help was the best thing you could've done because now you're accountable to someone who loves you and wants you to be the best you can be.
Giving yourself a budget was a great move and only spending the cash you have on hand will help as well.
Best wishes and happy no spending lol:)

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

It is great that you both talked about it and made a plan of action. It is a hard thing to figure out the right balance to. I know that I spend more money than I should and I am trying to keep that in check better. Good luck! Keep us updated on your progress!

6HappyHearts said...

This is going to sound weird, but you are very blessed! One, you can admit/confess that you have an "issue". Two, you have a supportive, loving husband who sounds wise & good w/money. Three, your friends are supporting you & not judging.
I can't imagine what you went through, losing the baby. I can imagine coping through shopping. It's a learned skill for me. My mother taught me when the going gets rough girls go shop?! Bad habit!!! You feel good for a little while after buying & then you just feel worse!
Thanks for your honesty & courage!
Much love & Many Blessings to you!!

jennifer said...

Good Grief woman. I am amazed at the loving way that you and your husband handled this and I am in awe of the COURAGE that it took for you to share this. I praise God for the honesty that you wrote this with and pray that He will use it to minister to someone who is struggling with money too. I really am proud of you for blogging with such honesty and sincerity.

I don't have a healthy respect for money either. And my husband is a good man about it too. seems that we are both blessed.

The Boob Nazi said...

I'm so sorry. I know exactly how it is when you're depressed. Shopping does make everything better! You can do this!

dannie1978 said...

Well honey, winter is my time of overspending and over indulgence. I too spend like a mad woman when I am depressed. Then I get depressed because I spent money. It is a vicious cycle. Just keep being honest with the hubby.
We have been married eleven years and he has always been very supportive , he has even been looking for cues as to when my depression is going to hit....
Best of luck!!!